wonderful ren

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Tuesday, November 19, 2002

nothing wakes me up and gets me out of bed like some good old fashioned, heart-stopping fear

when I was a kid, fear of my parents would get me out of bed, into my clothes, and on my way to school. in college, sometimes fear of missing an exam would get me out of bed and into the lecture hall. when I first started working, fear of being late would get me into the office pretty promptly - note: that was when I first started working.

sometime around 6am this morning, a loud rumbling shook my building and woke me up from a dead sleep - the rumbling continued, wind gusted through the cracks in my window. heart pounding, lickity split, I was out of bed and looking out the window to see if new york was now a steaming nuclear wasteland, if the gwb was in flames, or if columbia was a massive smoldering pile of bricks. and I tell you, I wouldn't have been surprised if I had seen any of that. surprisingly, everything looked in tact. not even meteors from last night's shower had struck anything in view from my window.

fuck you, september 11th, and fuck you, ridiculously loud construction vehicles. fuck you all.

also, sept 11th has totally disrupted my lucid dreaming. if I dream about planes crashing into times square or running away from falling buildings or chasing asshead bin laden, it doesn't occur to me in my dreams anymore that I'm dreaming. can you say traumatized? fuck you, asshead terrorists, fuck you. I am one traumatized girl.
posted by Ren @ 12:34:00 PM |



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