So I went home to the burbs for the weekend and right as I walked through the door after seeing Michael Moore’s latest documentary, Bowling for Columbine, the first thing my mother said to me was, “Did you hear there was another sniper shooting in Virginia?”..... you can read my full review here.
that sounded about right. it was quite a shock to learn from the movie that last year, australia and england each had about 65 shooting deaths, while there were about 11,000 shooting deaths in the US. there were only about 300 shooting deaths in canada last year. so that's it. i'm moving north of the border to canada*. i've got my winter coats (all fifteen or so - check back later for a more accurate count), my love of canadian comedians and canadian bacon (both the movie and the food, although i've been told repeatedly that they don't have canadian bacon up there. wtf.). i'm excited for kraft dinners, timbits, and alcool and I'm all prepared to celebrate boxing day. I still don't understand canadian thanksgiving although I am prepared to overlook it. what is that all aboot? so fuck this shit, when the monkey pres decides to attack iraq, i'll be cheering on the maple leafs and skating home to think polite thoughts about the queen mum. go see bowling for columbine, btw.
*moving to canada is just a fantasy and in no way ground in reality since I can't even move my ass out of washington heights. in fact, I dare the sniper to come up here. here, he will be outgunned. washington heights will fuck that sniper's shit up. oh yeah, fuck it up hard. come on up here, asshole. stop pussy footing it around dc and come up here and play.
posted by Ren @ 1:15:00 AM |